You and Me and the Devil Makes Three
by Imma Kiwi Bird
Summary: disconinued cause Naruto is gay and I finally realized that.
1. Prologue

**Imma Kiwi Bird:** Hello, and welcome to my story, 'You and Me and the Devil Makes Three'. This is a Naruto and Harry Potter crossover story. In this story, some Naruto characters will enter the HP world.

Also, I am going to tell you right now that some of the Naruto characters will fall in love with some of the HP characters, and vice versa. It will take awhile to happen, but it will happen.

And, like most crossovers, this is AU. Got it? Good.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the HP or Naruto characters. Kishimoto Misashi and JK Rowling do.

**Key for Text:** "Words." This is in Japanese.

"Words." This is normal speaking.

"_Words._" This is thinking.

* * *

**You and Me and the Devil Makes Three**

**Prologue**

"So... our task is to simply watch over a boy, his friends, and this castle?" The familiar cocky voice of Uzumaki Naruto rang out as he plopped down onto a chair. He was in the Hokage's, Tsunade, office, being briefed on a mission that was to come.

He was with his two teammates, Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura. The three were all 15 years of age, and more than ready and capable for such a mission. But, apparently, Tsunade thought otherwise.

Three other teams were going to be sent with them. They happened to be the rest of the rookie nine and Gai's team. Yes; Kiba, Hinata, Shino, Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji, Neji, Tenten, and Rock Lee were going to be accompanying them on their mission.

The other teams had already been briefed on the mission, and were currently waiting at the memorial stone. Soon, Naruto and his team would meet there as well. That was where their employer would meet them, speak, and the take them to 'Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry'.

When Naruto had heard it was a magic school, he had almost laughed out loud. Magic was fake. All magic was is waving a stick around, saying 'magic words', and then expecting something to happen. And nothing _would_ happen.

Tsunade gave a simple nod. So, his team sighed in unison and stood. The three Jounin grabbed their suitcases, preformed hand seals, and then disappeared in a poof of smoke.

Tsunade gave weak smile as soon as the three were gone. Albus Dumbledore was trustworthy. He was wise. He was everything most people strived to be. Truthfully, Tsunade would trust the old man with her life.

"Well, Dumbledore-san... take care of them..."

Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, and Haruno Sakura soon arrived at the memorial stone. All around, their fellow Jounin; and ANBU, in Shikamaru and Neji's case; were either sitting or standing. Though it was apparent that all of them were bored senseless.

Once there, Naruto decided to go around and say hi to everybody. Sakura joined up with Ino; they were now on friendly terms, since they both had miraculously gotten over Sasuke. Sasuke just sat on the ground, with his suitcase. He wasn't social, as most know.

Before some actual weird chatter could come, a literally appeared. Not how a ninja appears, with smoke. He kind of just popped there, and with a '**POP**'ing noise, as well.

He was dressed in some long, silky, purple robes that trailed behind him as he stepped forward. He had shining blue eyes that were still remarkably blue, considering his age. He had wispy white hair what fell down his back, and was kept in a very loose band that was near the end of his hair. He also had a beard, a _long_ one. The beard itself touched the floor.

And, he had half-moon spectacles perched on the tip of his slightly crooked nose.

"Well, hello, Jounin and ANBU of Konoha," The man spoke in perfect Japanese. This actually surprised all of the ninja. They all hadn't expected for this clearly English man to speak in their tongue.

As they were the highest ranked, and had been chosen by Tsunade the Godaime to speak with this man, Hyuuga Neji and Nara Shikamaru stepped forward, bowing. Again as a surprise, the man bowed as well.

"I suppose you two are Nara Shikamaru and Hyuuga Neji, two of Konoha's finest ANBU?" The man asked. The two nodded.

"Well, then. I am Albus Dumbledore, and I am your current employer,"


	2. The Burrow

**Imma Kiwi Bird:** I'm like... all happy, cause I'm actually inspired to make this story. xD Also, I started this chapter the same day as I made the prologue. Yay for me.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the HP or Naruto characters. Kishimoto Misashi and JK Rowling do.

**Key for Text:** "Words." This is in Japanese.

"Words." This is normal speaking.

"_Words._" This is thinking.

* * *

**You and Me and the Devil Makes Three**

**Chapter 1: The Burrow**

As if they were all robots, the other Jounin stood and bowed lowly, pretty much at a 90degree angle. Albus smiled. "No need to bow to me. We are of equal level, and need not be treated better than others," The others nodded and stood up straight.

"Now. Please; do introduce yourself, for I already have," Dumbledore smiled, motioning for one person at the end of the line the Jounin had gotten into to start. It was Hyuuga Hinata.

She turned red slightly, and despite what Dumbledore had said, she bowed. "I-I a-am Hyu-Hyuuga Hi-Hinata," Dumbledore frowned ever-so-slightly at her shyness, but he kept quiet.

"Inuzuka Kiba,"

"Yamanaka Ino,"

"Uzumaki Naruto,"

"Aburame Shino,"

"Akimitchi Chouji,"

"Haruno Sakura,"

"Tenten,"

"Uchiha Sasuke,"

"Rock Lee!" Albus Dumbledore gave a slightly chuckle at this boy's enthusiasm.

Dumbledore gave a nod at them all. "Well then, I am going to cast a spell on you all so that you shall be able to speak in my native tongue. It would be difficult for everyone else to understand yours..."

At this, Kiba stepped forward for a moment, frowning. "Will we at least be able to speak in Japanese still?" Dumbledore nodded, smiling at the teenager.

The aged man pulled out an elaborately carved stick from a hidden pocket. At the stares from the teenagers, and a, "What the hell is that?", from Yamanaka Ino, Dumbledore explained his wand.

"It is a wand. Simple as that," As soon as Albus finished his sentence, he swept his wand in a straight motion from Hinata to Lee. As it was swept through the air, the tip glowed. And all of the ninja felt a strange sensation through them, as if they were drinking an odd concoction made by someone in a hospital.

Albus followed up by flicking his wand at Shikamaru and Neji, whom where standing beside him. The two ANBU felt the same sensation, but spoke, nor tried to speak, fo it.

Before any of the Jounin could even ask about the feeling, Dumbledore pulled out four boots. All four were old, brown, and downright disgusting. The three girls gagged slightly, and Hinata paled. Dumbledore gave an assuring smile.

"Don't worry. These are Portkeys. They'll take us to my world," Dumbledore set all the boots spread apart by about three feet each. He instructed for three people to join around one boot. The ninja did so, then waited for further instructions. Dumbledore scooted into a spot with one group before answering.

"Place one hand on the boot. Keep a firm grip. **DO NOT LET GO OF THE BOOT OR YOUR LUGGAGE**." He warned. There were a few gulps as, again, the ninja all obeyed Albus and placed a firm grip on the boot, holding tightly onto their luggage as well.

"Five... four... three... two... one..." As soon as Albus finished his countdown, all of them felt a tug on their navel. Immediately, they were sent into a spinning tunnel of earthly colors; green, brown, dark blue. And occasionally another color.

Sakura, Ino, and Hinata, who shared a shoe, all squeezed their eyes shut, hoping that it would reduce the nauseous feeling they were getting from spinning in the tunnel.

All the other ninja were holding well. But, they couldn't ignore the uneasiness in their stomachs.

After it seemed like an age had gone by as they spun in the tornado, it stopped. They all were dropped to the ground, everyone landing on their stomachs or backs. Only Dumbledore had landed elegantly, standing upright. He didn't even look fazed.

"Well, that was fun, wasn't it?" Dumbledore asked, smiling again. Oddly, the Japanese nins understood the plain English the old wizard spoke.

"You call being spun continuously through a tunnel _fun_!" Both Kiba and Naruto yelled, pointed at Albus as soon as they stood, swaying slightly from the still-remaining nausea. Albus frowned slightly.

"Oh, trust me. You will get used to it," Albus stated sternly.

Albus started walking down the hill they had landed on. The Konoha ninja grabbed their suitcases and hurried after him, noticing where he was headed.

Down the hill was a tall house. It was at least five or six stories tall. But it seemed like ti was lopsided and awkward, and should just plain fall. Gravity shouldn't be on this house's side.

By then they had covered the short distance to the awkward house. There was a picket sign thrust into the ground before what seemed to be the driveway.

It read: _The Burrow_.

Albus stopped them before they reached the house's door. He turned to face them. "Now. The Weasley's-"

"Who're the Weasley's?" Sakura asked, blinking. I mean; if they would be staying there, shouldn't they know who the 'Weasley's' are?

Albus nodded. "Ah, yes. They own this house," He swept his hand towards 'The Burrow' before continuing. "They have agreed to keep you here, at their home. It will be crowded, ad they will be separating you into different rooms. They have even been kind enough to add another floor to their house to keep you,"

At this, most of the Konoha ninja were shocked. _Added_ another floor!

"So, without further ado, go ahead," Albus winked at them, before he disappeared once more with a POP.

Neji and Shikamaru were automatically chosen to knock on the door. They were the ANBU, they should do it.

"Meh. The old man left us on our own, with no instructions? How troubleso-"

"SHIKAMARU, just get your lazy ass steppin'!" Ino growled, beginning to push Shikamaru, so he would be followed Neji, whom was already at the front porch, knocking.

Soon, the door opened, and a girl stood there. She had bright red hair to hr waist. Not the kind of red hair most people have, but it was flaming red. She blinked at the odd bunch with dark green eyes, which clusters of freckles had underneath them.

"Oh! Are you the people Dumbledore hired?" She asked, grinning. Neji nodded, bowing. The girl blinked at this gesture, but soon brushed it aside.

Before she could speak again, a woman appeared, brushing the girl aside. She, too, had red hair, but it was a bit duller and was to her mid-back, and was curly slightly. She was a tad on the shorter side; same height as Naruto. About 5'5. She was also slightly rounded, but not too much.

Suddenly, Chouji felt like he was not alone.

"My, my, my!" She cried, looking at them all. "These are the students? Well, you look no older than my baby Ron!"

From inside the house, a loud, "**MOM!**", could be heard.

"Well, I am Mrs Weasley. And you all are?" Mrs Weasley asked. After they all introduced themselves, Mrs Weasley nodded. "Good, now. Go inside and wait while I check to make sure the rooms are ready," She went waddling off, while Ginny, whom the girl turned out to be, dragged them all in.

As soon as they were in, they were pretty much caught off guard as a loud yell of, "**FIRE!**", was heard. Suddenly, they were all pelted with toffees. Actually, Naruto and Kiba had escaped, noticing what was about to happen.

The two looked for the source, and noticed two twins. Both, like Ginny and Mrs Weasley, had a shock of red hair, bright green eyes, and freckles.

"You two did that?" Kiba asked, in slight awe that the skilled ANBU themselves hadn't noticed them. The two twins nodded, grinning their heads off. Naruto held his hand up for a high five, and the twins took it.

"That was priceless!" Naruto congratulated, before going straight to introductions. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto,"

"Inuzuka Kiba,"

"Fred and George, at your service!" The twins spoke in perfect harmony, and even bowed at the same time. As if it were practiced. And, it was perfect.

Pretty soon, it was organized that Kiba and Naruto would be staying in Fred and George's room. At this, everyone groaned. Heck; some swear they heard the house groan as well.

The girl's would be staying in Ginny's room. As soon as 'Hermione Granger' got there as well, she would be joining them.

Shino, Neji, and Lee would be bunking in 'ickle Ronnikins'' room. Whoever that was. Also, Harry; the boy they were to protect; would be with them as well. Then, last but not least, Sasuke, Chouji, and Shikamaru would be getting the new floor to themselves.

Lucky.

When Mrs Weasley came back down, everyone but Neji went up to meet their roommate, converse, or just plain relax. Neji walked up to Mrs Weasley, bowed, and then spoke.

"Mrs Weasley, when will we be meeting 'Harry Potter',and learning about the school?" They were in the kitchen, and the mother of all the Weasley's seemed to be preparing a feast.

"Well, Neji. You will get a letter from Hogwarts. You all must attend there. And, Harry dear should be here any minute after Arthur returns. Until then, would you be so kind as to help an old lady prepare dinner?" Neji felt like he had to agree; from pity. The old woman was speaking behind an armful of pots and pans.

Soon, he was setting up the table and helping the woman prepare food. He actually did not enjoy this. Matter of a fact, he wanted to go march straight up to the room he would be staying in and leave the woman to make Lee or someone help her.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang, and for a moment you could see lights from a car turn off.

"Oh! That must be them. Go get the door for me, please, dear,"


	3. Soccer, Dinner, and Preparation

**Imma Kiwi Bird:** Okies. This chapter shows a possible relationship between Hermione and Shikamaru. Yes; this _will_ happen. Someone stated that this might be a good couple because they're both smart, and because it would actually work out.

I agree.

Also, I apologize for the over-shortness of this chapter. You all know the next one will be longer.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the HP or Naruto characters. Kishimoto Misashi and JK Rowling do.

**Key for Text:** "Words." This is in Japanese.

"Words." This is normal speaking.

"_Words._" This is thinking.

* * *

**You and Me and the Devil Makes Three**

**Chapter 2: Soccer, Dinner, and Preparation**

Hyuuga Neji had _not_ imagined Harry Potter to look the way he did.

He had imagined someone at least wealthy, someone that seemed to be worth protecting.

Not a boy with green eyes, shaggy black hair, and some glasses that had the bridge taped up multiple times.

No; Hyuuga Neji had expected much, much more.

So; all of the bodyguards that had been hired were currently outside, along with the rest of the Weasley family. The living room had been to small, so they all had to meet in the backyard.

"Harry, dear; these are the bodyguards hired for you," Mrs Weasley said. The ninja automatically detected the nervousness in her voice.

Harry looked at them all slowly. "But... I'd rather have them as friends then bodyguards,"

At this, the kunoichi softened slightly. This boy seemed kind. Very kind...

Mrs Weasley sighed. "I know, Harry. But it is not our fault, your fault, or their fault. Now; introduce yourselves."

After the quick introduction, Ginny stepped forward, holding a ball. A soccer ball. She motioned towards the large field just outside their fence. "Wanna go play soccer?" She asked as if she had known them all her entire life.

Ino, Sakura, and Tenten agreed. They eventually convinced Hinata as well. Kiba, Naruto, and Lee were the only others who would play, though. It was fine, thought; because with Fred, George, Ginny, Harry, and Ron, they had twelve players.

Everyone else went up back to their rooms; except for Neji and Shikamaru. Shikamaru was going to speak with Mr and Mrs Weasley, and Neji was left to supervise the soccer match. For Harry's sake, of course.

The Hyuuga looked at Harry as he kicked the ball from Ron. No; this was not what he expected, but it was also more than he bargained for.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Meh, Mrs Weasley?" Shikamaru started as soon as they were sitting in the living room. "Exactly what are we protecting Harry from?" Mrs Weasley gave a nervous laugh.

"Well, Shikamaru... someone wants Harry dead. And the one who wants him dead is very powerful, and he has many underlings." Mrs Weasley lowered her voice. "It's Voldemort."

"Voldemort?" Shikamaru repeated loudly. Mrs Weasley flinched. "Do not say his name!" Shikamaru shrugged. Was this 'Voldemort' so powerful and terrifying that people were to afraid to even speak his name?

Shikamaru nodded. "Okay... I think I understand it all completely."

"_Meh... this is all going to be troublesome..._"

Shikamaru stood, bowed to Mr and Mrs Weasley, and then headed out the door. He'd have to get everyone else and tell them. Well... no; that would be to troublesome. He'd just tell Neji.

Then, as soon as he got outside and looked at everyone, he remembered that they had been forced to dress in non-ninja clothes. The Nara still hadn't figured out why... maybe he should try to find out... Never mind. It would end up being non-worthy of knowing.

"Neji?" Shikamaru said as soon as h stopped beside the vacant-eyed Hyuuga, who was still watching the match.

"Hn?"

"I found out some things..."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"I'm heeeeeeeere!"

"Hermione!" Both Ron and Harry cried. They abandoned their game and went running for the house, jumping over the fence. When they nearly knocked Shikamaru down, they didn't even stop. They even ignored all the yells from the soccer players; minus Hinata. She had quit the game at Neji's wishes, because she looked like she was about to faint.

Soon, Harry and Ron came running back with a new girl beside them. She had long, wavy brown hair and brown eyes. Her front teeth stuck out slightly, and that made most tink she was a nerd. And, she happened to be engrossed in school studies, but she wasn't a nerd. She was wearing some loose jeans, and a light blue t-shirt that had the words 'Starry Night' over a picture that looked like a night sky.

Shikamaru blinked as she came running after the two boys. As soon as they reached the fence, they hopped over. The girl stopped beside them. After catching her breathe, she turned to them.

"Hello; I'm Hermione Granger." She stated. Yup. Her voice showed that she thought she possibly knew everything, and it looked like she actually did.

"Hyuuga Neji-" Hermione gasped, cutting off Shikamaru from introducing himself. "_Troublesome woman..._"

"You're from the famed Hyuuga clan of Konohagakure?" Neji gave a slow nod before turning back to the game. Hermione took that as an invitation to leave him alone. "And you are?"

"Nara Shikamaru,"

"Well, nice meeting you guys!" Hermione jumped the fence as well, and went to play the game.

"Troublesome woman..."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The meal Mrs Weasley prepared was large _and_ good in tastes.

Chouji was having a hay-day pigging out on the food he had commented as 'better than anything he had ever had'.

Everyone else was eating normally, occasionally getting seconds on something they liked.

And did I mention that they had to eat outside because of the large number of people?

Sasuke looked at Harry. This was who they would be risking their life for? He didn't seem worth it. Not worth anything, as a matter of a fact. Uchiha Sasuke would actually rather leave the kid to die, if they got in a situation.

But that would betray his contract. And, he would be betraying Konoha. So, that was not an option. Oh well...

Hermione kept glancing at Shikamaru, and Harry wondered why. They guy was just downright lazy, in his opinion. Did Hermione possibly see something in him? If so: wow.

Ronald Weasley also noticed, and he was jealous and enraged. Hermione shouldn't mind that guy! He was a lazy bum who probably had not future! He, Ronald Weasley, had much more to offer!

Ino, Sakura, and Tenten finally finished their food. Soon after, Hinata and Ginny were done as well. After a prod or two, Hermione was also done. "Good night." She said. Everyone said good night back, but only Harry noticed that she had been looking straight at Nara Shikamaru when she said it.

Soon, the six girls all disappeared into the Burrow.

"Well... 'night." Kiba, Naruto, Fred, and George all hoped up and ran off into the house. Those that were smart enough to understand that meant they were all planning something.

"Well, dears. Have a good sleep." Mrs Weasley said, giving all the reluctant men a tight hug after they all finished eating. They all bid her a good sleep as well and headed into the Burrow, then up to where they would be staying.

But, they didn't know that tomorrow morning, they would be getting mail.


	4. Mail, Fudge, and a Picnic

**Imma Kiwi Bird:** Okies. It took me slightly longer to get this chapter out, because I was too lazy to update. swears she is related to Shikamaru somehow And, as promised, it's long. As promised. Yayness.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the HP or Naruto characters. Kishimoto Misashi and JK Rowling do.

**Key for Text:** "Words." This is in Japanese.

"Words." This is normal speaking.

"_Words._" This is thinking.

* * *

**You and Me and the Devil Makes Three**

**Chapter 3: Mail, Fudge, and a Picnic**

The next morning, the first to awake were Neji, Rock Lee, Harry, and Ginny. They all ended up meeting in the kitchen, where Mrs Weasley was preparing breakfast.

"Mrs Weasley, we'll be going outside to train now," Neji stated. Mrs Weasley gave a nod, and with that, Lee and Neji left the house to train in the field everyone had played soccer in. Harry glanced at the window, watching Neji and Rock Lee get into some odd stances.

"I'm gonna go watch them..."

"Okay, dear-"

"Me too!" Ginny piped up, following Harry outside.

Harry and Ginny hid behind the Weasley's broom closet to watch the two train. What were they even training for? All of their new quests didn't seem to be witches _or_ wizards. So what could they possible be?

Before they knew it, Neji was running at Lee. He had two fingers together, ready to _poke_ the green spandex clad boy. That was just _stupid_.

Lee dodged. And he was **fast**. But Neji turned quickly and prodded one of Lee's shoulders. Lee fell to his knees, his arm limp at his side.

"No improvement? Shame on you, Lee." Neji spoke in an entirely different language. Ginny and Harry blinked. It would be impossible to translate it without Hermione or Dumbledore.

Neji turned to face them. They both gasped, and Ginny fell to the ground. Neji's eyes were pure white; and veins were popping out from the sides. It was unnerving, and Harry wanted to leave his spot that very moment.

Neji started towards them, or back towards the Burrow. As he passed them, they heard him murmur, "Stay out of our business,". Harry watched him dissapered back into the house, his eyes back to normal. As soon as he thought Neji was actually gone, Harry ran over to Rock Lee, who was still on the ground and breathing heavily.

"Are you okay?" He asked. Lee nodded and stood, shaking slightly. He looked at the house with a burning fury. "Someday I'll beat him..." Lee murmured, heading towards the house.

Harry looked at Lee, before following. It seemed that Ginny had already went inside.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After breakfast, some owls arrived.

There was a new barn owl. It arrived with a mass of letters. There was also Pidwigeon, Ron's owl, that only had one letter. Also, Hedwig, Harry's owl, arrived with two letters. And last, there was another from Hogwarts with a mass of letters.

The barn owl ended up having letters for all of the ninja. There were all addressed to each individual. And, they were from Hogwarts.

Pidwigeon had Ron's Hogwarts letter.

Hedwig had Hermione and Harry's letter.

And, the Hogwarts' owl had all of the letters for the rest of the Weasley children.

According to their letters, all fo the nins would be attending the school as 'foreign exchange students'. Heck, they would even be learning how to do magic.

Kiba and Naruto were already grinning ear-to-ear at the thought of learning magic, which they both thought was a mere fairytale.

Other than that, nothing was very special about the reactions.

"When will we be leaving to 'Diagon Alley'?" Tenten asked after finishing her letter. Mrs Weasley looked at the bun-headed girl.

"Tomorrow morning."

Shikamaru, who was leaning against the couch, dropped his letter and looked like he was ready to go back to sleep. "Meh... for sure, this will be troublesome..." Hermione glanced at him, a scowl plastered to her face.

"And why is that?" She asked. Harry paled. Oh yeah! Hermione didn't like people thinking Hogwarts was bad 'n all...

"It's not worth anyone's time-"

"Of course it is!" Hermione was now crouching beside him, informing him on the oh-so-many reasons why school was important, and worth people's time.

Harry's mind drifted back to the night before.

Ron _did not_ like Aburame Shino.

When he had found out, from Rock Lee, that the Aburame literally had bugs living in _him_, he had freaked out and said that he would have to sleep on the couch that night. Mrs Weasley had shown up, yelled at Ron, and then all was well.

All in all, Harry was surprised noone besides Molly had shown up at the door of Ron's room.

When Harry glanced at Ron that moment, he noticed he was doing three things: going from looking at Shino with a crazed expression, glaring at Shikamaru, and reading his Hogwarts' letter.

Ah. Hogwarts. They would be going back for their 5th year, and he hoped that it would be uneventful. No stones, secret dungeons, loose Azkaban prisoners, tournaments, Voldemort, no nothing. That would be his ideal Hogwarts' year.

But, that was already foiled.

He had not one, but _twelve_ bodyguards to watch over him. Twelve. Who knows what Malfoy would nag about this time? Or what he would complain to his father?

"Why does _he_ get bodyguards? What about everyone _else_? Especially _me_?"

He could already hear the wimpy Slytherin sneering at Dumbledore already.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by Lee, who asked him why he was staring into space. He brushed it off, saying that he was thinking about the new school year. Lee grinned and hopped up, saying he was going back outside to train. Some said 'see ya later' or something, but he didn't care.

After a moment, Ron and Harry glanced at each other, then stood up. "Mum, you aid we could go into town today, remember?" Ron brought up. His mother looked up at him, her lips pursed together slightly.

"Yes, yes, I remember. Neji, dear, please go with them." Neji, who had been sitting calmly at the table after he had finished his letter, nodded and stood as well. Both of the other boys scowled, but nodded and left the house, Neji following.

People yelled, "Goodbye!", or, "Bye!", after them. But once Ron notice that he had heard no goodbye from Hermione, he went red in pure anger.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It was lunch time, and noone wanted lunch. So, Mrs Weasley decided to make everyone a snack. As she went around the house and outside, she took careful notes of where everyone was.

Fred, George, Naruto, and Kiba wear in the twins' room, plotting bad things.

Sasuke, Shino, and Chouji were going over their Hogwarts letters. The packets were actually quite long and they hadn't finished the letter. Or, they were re-reading it. But, when Molly got in the room, Chouji was immediately beside her asking if he could have the extra fudge she had made. She said yes, then continued.

Lee was training, and he refused the fudge until she made him try it. Then he accepted it.

All of the girl's were watching Hermione quiz Shikamaru. Hermione was actually quite pleased that the lazy teen was smart. Very smart. Ginny had once questioned who was smarter; Hermione or Shikamaru. That was when Sakura said that they'd someday have to find out.

Neji, Ron, and Harry were still out. That was nothing, though. Neji was with them. All would be well, in Molly's eyes.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ronald Weasley and Harry Potter were in town. Yes.

It was a small one, and quite far away from the Burrow. It had a bar, a restaurant, a convenience store, five houses, and that was pretty much all. There was also a field; as a park.

It was filled with lush grass. A few trees. That was all. There was absolutely nothing more in it except for a straight dirt path leading through it.

Harry and Ron had gone to the convenience store, bought a load of junk food with the money Harry ad taken from his cousin, and went to the 'park' and had a junk picnic. Neji had frowned at this, but had said nothing. If they wanted to get sick, let them. He was only supposed to keep them from dying. That was the only thing he had to stop.

So, if they started to choke or something like that, he _might_ jump in.

"Hey, Neji?" The Hyuuga was slightly surprised that Harry had spoken to him. They had been out for at least five hours, and they had spoken, but not to him. And he himself had not said a word the entire time as well.

"What?"

"I just wanted to know why you're so quiet."

Neji kept silent, turned from them, and went back to looking straight ahead. Harry frowned, and Ron glared at Neji.

Neji's head snapped to look at Ron. "I'd suggest not to glare at me." Ron stared back as Neji went back to watching.

The guy's back was facing them. How could he have seen? Damn, that guy was good.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Chouji? I have the extra fudge-"

"WOO-HOO!"


	5. The Train

**Imma Kiwi Bird:** Okay. This story is now, and forever, dedicated to my dear friend Itachi. I shall not reveal her whereabouts, for I will not risk stalkers. O

Also, I'm sorry that it's taking so long for me to get these out. xD I have ideas, I just don't... want to type them out...

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the HP or Naruto characters. Kishimoto Misashi and JK Rowling do.

**Key for Text:** "Words." This is in Japanese.

"Words." This is normal speaking.

"_Words._" This is thinking.

* * *

**You and Me and the Devil Makes Three**

**Chapter 4: The Train**

Floo powder was by far the oddest means of travel Uzumaki Naruto had ever gone by.

You threw the powder in a fireplace, green flames arose, you step in, state your destination, and within moments you're there. To him, that was just one of the oddest things he had heard of.

He had been told to say 'Diagon Alley'. And, he had ended up there.

As soon as everyone arrived, Arthur and Molly Weasley had swept them all up and down the magical alley as they got their school supplies. Since Tsunade had provided them with a well amount of money, the Konoha ninja were able to get first-hand supplies.

And, so were the Weasleys. Which Ronald seemed to be overjoyed about.

Finding his 'wand' had been difficult, but eventually they found him one. Twelve inch, oak, dragon heartstring entwined with unicorn hair. A 'rare wand choice' is what the old man in the shop had said. Naruto hadn't really cared; all he did was pay for his wand and left.

He and his fellow ninja, along with Harry, Hermione, and the Weasleys, were at 'King's Cross Station' so that they could board 'train 10 3/4'. Naruto had _no_ idea what a train was, but he thought that, whatever it was, would be fun. Or... that's what he hoped.

Now, he remained with Sakura, Hermione, and Lee to get to the platform.

Molly Weasley wanted him to _run into the wall. On purpose._ Who in their right mind would do something so idiotic? Sighing, he did what he was told.

Backing up, then getting a running start like everyone else, he ran at the wall. Closing his eyes and expecting to crash, he was surprised when he got a tingling feeling and when he opened his eyes, he was surrounded by many, many students. He caught site of Hinata going onto what seemed to be the train, which was crimson.

He went up to the big, metal contraption in slight awe. He doubted even Tsunade could break _that_! He gave his luggage to the man assigned to the 'luggage taker' post, and quickly hopped on board.

He heard someone call his name, and he turned to see Fred (or was it George?) motioning for him to join him. Grinning, he walked to the compartment and slipped in.

Inside was Kiba, and the other twin.

Taking the vacant seat by the window, he watched the twin who had called him slide the compartment door shut.

"Scheming time," Both twins said at once.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Again, Hyuuga Neji was being forced to watch them. Why must it always be him? Shikamaru should watch the trio for once... Oh yeah; Neji had forgotten. The guy was a lazy ass.

He was sitting in their compartment, the closest to the door. The closer the better to attack.

Neji stared right head, and the blank seat. He moved not an inch. He did not blink. He took silent amusement in the fact that he could _feel_ the nervousness radiating off of Hermione, Ron, and Harry.

"So, Neji. Do you know anything about Shikamaru?"

Neji turned his head slightly to the girl as she asked her question. She either didn't see or ignored the red-faced Ronald.

"Yes. Why?"

"What's his IQ?"

Neji stared at her blankly. "When he was twelve, and his sensei gave him tests, it proved to be over 200." Neji turned back to stare ahead again, obviously not going to answer any of Hermione's questions, let alone someone else's.

Hermione pursed her lips thoughtfully. Maybe they could study together, since Harry and Ron didn't care to.

Ron glared at Hermione. Simple as that. Hermione finally turned to him. "Ron, what's wrong?" She asked, slight anger traceable in her voice. Her fists clenched on her lap. Come on; they already had a problem last year; she didn't need another one.

"Why are you giving this Shikamaru guy so much attention?" The second youngest Weasley growled angrily. Neji's mouth tilted up slightly in a smirk; this guy was jealous of Shikamaru? That was an odd jealously.

Hermione let out a disgruntled moan as she crossed one arm over her chest, and set the other one on her forehead. "Ronald, this _again_? Why must you be jealous of every man I show interest in?" Ron turned bright red at her statement, his fists clenching.

"I'm not jealous!"

"Don't think I don't see you glaring at him whenever I speak with him?" Hermione retorted, her voice slightly amplifying in tone. Ron seemed to quiet down at this, but that didn't keep his face from being red in anger.

Harry stood. "I-I'm gonna go say hi to Neville." He said quickly, exiting. Neither of his friends replied.

Neji stood, a sigh escaping his lips. The train hadn't even started, and he already had to get up. He followed Harry silently, going into the same compartment Harry went in.

Inside was one lone boy. Neji's first impression was a boy who was forgetful and a klutz. Harry grinned, greeting him as he sat across from him.

The boy's eyes wandered warily over to Neji, and he gasped when he noticed Neji's blank eyes.

"Oh! Neville, this is Hyuuga Neji." Neji bowed, sitting close to the compartment door again. Neville twitched, his eyes always glancing at the Hyuuga as he spoke to Harry.

After a few moments, the train started. It lurched forward, and they were off.

But after ten or so minutes, the door opened.

There stood a boy, with slicked back bleached blonde hair. He had a pointed face, and his eyes seemed to sneer at them. Behind him stood to bulk of teenagers.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Potter and Longbottom." The boy sneered. Neville cowered into the window, while Harry scowled and stood up. Before Harry could speak, Neji stood up.

A look of fear crossed the boy's face as he looked at Neji's colorless eyes, before it was covered. "You don't scare me."

The two bulky boys behind him stepped forward, looking like they were ready to pound Neji. Neji raised an eyebrow, before raising a hand.

He poked one boy's shoulder, then the other.

They both collapsed by their own weight.

Malfoy looked at him, sneering. "You can get past them, but not me-" Neji poked both of his shoulders with both hands, and the blonde immediately collapse on the ground.

"Now leave. If you want to speak with either of them, you must ask me first." Neji said calmly. Malfoy glared at him. "My father will hear of this!"

Neji scowled. He bent down and poked Malfoy's chest. The boy fainted. Neji disappeared out of the compartment as he shoved the three somewhere, before coming back.

"Th-thank you, Neji." Neville thanked, stuttering. Neji didn't even reply; he just sat back down and stared ahead, quiet.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"How old is Neji?" Ginny asked Tenten out of nowhere. The brunette blinked out of confusion. "Sixteen; why?"

Ginny turned red slightly. "Curiosity." Tenten looked skeptical, but she shrugged it off and looked back out the window. Ginny looked out as well, listening to Ino and Sakura's conversation.

"What's with Hermione's fascination with Shikamaru?" It was Sakura.

"Well, baka. Isn't it obvious? Hermione likes Shika!" Came Ino's reply.

Tenten jumped in. "Really?"

"Duh!" Ino said matter-of-a-factly.

Ginny grinned. Is that so? No wonder Ron glared at the lazy ass every time Hermione talked with him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hermione had gotten up, leaving Ron. He was so annoying! If he liked her so much, why wouldn't he ask her out instead of putting every man she showed interest in on a hit list!

Ronald had left the compartment as well, storming down the train to go where Harry, Neville, and Neji resided. She, on the other hand, searched for an empty compartment. Or a compartment with someone she knew.

She spied an open compartment door up ahead; that meant it was empty, or she would be aloud inside. Racing to it, she made to go in.

She froze in the door frame.

Shikamaru was lying down on a whole seat, arms crosse behind his head. Asleep. Hermione sighed, sitting across from him, because of course she couldn't sit on that seat. Shikamaru was laying on it as if it were his own, personal bed.

She sat there, staring at him. She had no book, so she couldn't read. And she would rather look at him then out the window.

Before Hermione could even look away, he was awake and looking at her lazily. "What?" He asked. Hermione felt herself become red in embarrassment. And... something else?

"I-I-I..."

"For someone who is 'smart', you sure act stupid." Hermione frowned in anger, but didn't reply.

"Ronald decided that he wanted to be an ass, so I decided to stay here." Shikamaru nodded, and it seemed that withing a second, he was asleep again. Hermione felt her body temperature calm down.

And, she resumed watching him.


	6. Arrival

**Imma Kiwi Bird:** Okay. Chapter out. 83 Now... I was actually having trouble _typing_ it, because I a recently in my Shikamaru-mode. xD Imma lazy ass...

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the HP or Naruto characters. Kishimoto Misashi and JK Rowling do.

**Key for Text:** "Words." This is in Japanese.

"Words." This is normal speaking.

"_Words._" This is thinking.

* * *

**You and Me and the Devil Makes Three**

**Chapter 5: Arrival**

Harry Potter was beginning to like Hyuuga Neji.

The buy was able to deal with Malfoy by just _poking_ him. Same with his cronies, Crabbe and Goyle. Come to think of it... that was how he had defeated Rock Lee in their training. And... it had happened within a minute.

He wondered how Neji would do fighting some of the other bullies of Hogwarts... well... Neji would probably kick their sorry asses, teaching them not to mess around with the other students. That would help him out.

So... maybe having the Hyuuga as a body guard would be an advantage.

He would be able to get all the Slytherins off his back. Especially Malfoy, now. Then there were all the other Slytherins...

Harry already knew this year would be a good one.

His mind drifted back to listen to Ron, who was rambling on about Hermione. Actually, he thought like Hermione about this situation. They knew Ron liked her, and he wished he would just 'claim' her already. It was beginning to get annoying whenever Ronald got jealous over _any_ goddamn boy Hermione showed the slightest interest in.

"She's such a back stabber!" Ron concluded, folding his arms up in a huff. It looked like Ron's angry rambling had frightened Neville into a state of shock; the nervous boy was staring at Ron, unmoving. Neville wasn't even _blinking_.

Harry sighed. "Ron, I think you're jealous-"

"**I AM _NOT_ JEALOUS!**" He roared back, standing up and pointing at Harry accusingly. Harry raised an eyebrow, laughing a bit in a nervous fashion.

"Sure you aren't..."

Ron glared at his friend with pure loathing. Harry gave him a nervous smile. Hey; Ron was lying, and Harry was telling the truth.

Neji just thought Ronald was being immature.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hermione Granger was desperately trying to mind out why Nara Shikamaru wasn't the least bit excited to go to Hogwarts.

Sure; he may not know a thing about the school, but shouldn't he be excited or something?

Apparently not.

So, Hermione decided to snap Shikamaru out of his sleep and ask him her question.

When she did, and he sat up, he didn't look happy. But, he didn't complain. "What do you want?"

"Aren't you excited?" Shikamaru blinked at her question, and Hermione swore she could _hear_ him _think_: "What the hell are you talking about?"

Hermione sighed. "Aren't you excited about going to Hogwarts?"

Shikamaru shook his head. "No. Now leave me alone so I can sleep." With that, he laid back down and closed his eyes, ready to go back to sleep. Hermione was red in slight anger.

Damn him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sasuke hated the train.

He hated the whole mission now.

A load of girl's kept following him around, bugging the hell out of him. Come on! He thought that this stuff would stay behind in Konohagakure!

He slipped into a seemingly empty compartment to escape some extra annoying girls, when he noticed it was also occupied by a stiff Hermione Granger and a sleeping Nara Shikamaru.

Hermione said a quick hello to him, before going back to glaring at Shikamaru. The Uchiha blinked; why was she so angry with the guy? He was lazy. And that was the only reason to be angry with him. But; that could only happen when they're busy. And... they were on a train. And it was boring on the train.

Actually, Sasuke was passing the time by escaping some annoying new fan girls.

After hearing them all pass, he peeked out. Yup; gone. He said a quick 'good-bye' to Hermione, before slipping back out of the train compartment to continue his running.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

When the train lurched to a stop, Harry, Ron, and Neville stood. When Harry stopped to ask Neji why he wasn't coming, Neji replied with a simple, "Business."

Harry shrugged, and he followed Neville and Ron. Once they were off the train, they met up with a flustered-looking Hermione. "What happened, Hermione?" Neville asked her, wringing his hands. Hermione waved it off, continuing on to the Hogwarts castle stiffly.

Harry grinned as they slipped into the carriages; for once ignoring the threstals.

Maybe, the only odd thing about this year would be those twelve people guarding the school...

Please be so.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Once Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat themselves at the end of the Gryffindor table, the first years immediately poured in. Clapping started, and soon everyone was joining in. Harry clapped enthusiastically, but he was still wondering where everyone else was.

As soon as Dumbledore silenced them, the Sorting Hat sung its odd song, and then the sorting began.

A few of every house were sorted. The first years ended up at the end, near the trio. So they greeted them all with smiles, while the nervous 'firsties' replied stuttering.

As soon as Dumbledore got everyone's attention, Albus Dumbledore began the new year speech.

The off limits areas, the restricted section of the library, and so on.

The last part was different.

"Now, everyone remembers how the valiant Cedric Diggory was murdered by Lord Voldemort. Now, since Voldemort seems to be targeting Hogwarts, we have hired some bodyguards..."

At that moment, the doors at the end of the hall opened. That's when Harry noticed Hagrid wasn't at the table for the teachers.

And who else by Rubeus Hagrid would be leading in the 'ninja'?

Harry frowned as the Slytherins laughed at the odd looks of them.

As soon as Hagrid led them up front, Dumbledore spoke.

"One will be in each class. Yes, I know there are not enough to do so, but they will make it happen. Now, they are hear to protect you. If you annoy them or fool around with them, you will be expelled or get detention."

Harry already seen Malfoy's face frown. Obviously, the freak had been planning already.

"Now. They will be staying with the Gryffindors-" Jeering from the Slytherins, and cheering from the Gryffindors.

"But they are here to protect you all."

They turned and marched to the end, sitting down quietly. Fred and George had saved Naruto and Kiba a spot, so they were near the front. Away from everyone else. To scheme in peace.

"Without further ado, tuck in."

The food appeared, and let us just say that Chouji was in heaven.


	7. I'm to be Guarded 247

**Imma Kiwi Bird:** GODDAMMIT it was hard to write this. D Dun worry, though! It is out now, so... REJOICE, fans of this fic! If there are any... emosniffle

Well, anyways. This and my other story will be updated regularly now, along with a new story coming out. My new story will not be revealed. IT IS A SECRET. :O

OH. And the next chapter will begin in the morning. 3

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the HP or Naruto characters. Kishimoto Misashi and JK Rowling do.

**Key for Text:** "Words." This is in Japanese.

"Words." This is normal speaking.

"_Words._" This is thinking.

* * *

**You and Me and the Devil Makes Three**

**Chapter 6: I'm to be Guarded 24/7**

That night, Harry was being forced to tell Seamus and Dean exactly 'Why the hell do you have a whole bunch of bloody body guards?'. Well... that, actually, had been how Seamus asked him the question. Dean, on the other hand, had been a bit more on the... polite side.

"I don't know, actually." And that was a total lie; and he knew it. So did Ron, who was supposed to be asleep in his (closed curtain) four poster bed.

Voldemort. Simple as that. Lord Voldemort was after him; he wanted Harry dead.

So, naturally, the famous Harry Potter was to have load of foreign body guards look after him. Which also meant that his teasing from the Slytherins would only worsen by about 525.

Seamus looked at him through slightly narrowed eyes. Harry knew that his fellow 5th year was suspicious. But, Seamus sighed and retreated back to his bunk to retire to bed. Soon, he was in bed and asleep. Dean stayed up for a few moments, but nonetheless in bed.

He was reading some book.

Soon, his hand let go of the book and he slipped into dreamland.

Leaving Harry to think.

Why exactly did Dumbledore want so many people guarding him and the castle? And, more down to the point, why was it these specific people? These... odd foreigners that seemed to not even know what the bloody hell a fork was?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Dammit, Chouji! Why do you have to be such a pig!"

Ino's voice echoed slightly in the corridors as she hulled the teen through the castle, trying to find the 'hospital wing'. He had eaten so much of the seemingly endless food till he nearly passed out. And, now, who but Yamanaka Ino was left to take him off to somewhere she had no clue how to get to?

"But... it was so _good_..." And of course he couldn't stop eating.

Hermione had already visited the library. She wanted to see if they had gotten anymore books in. They had. A whole row full fo them. She had taken about five of them to read before classes started. Which was in three days.

Three days instead of the normal date, which was usually right after the first day; after the great feast. But, Dumbledore had said that the new DADA teacher was late, so no classes till three days later. This had made her slightly depressed, while everyone else rejoiced.

She stopped as she heard... Ino, was it? Yes. It was Ino.

Turning the corner, she seen the girl lugging Chouji around. She cleared her throat, causing Ino to look up. Hermione raised an eyebrow; Ino looked quite flustered.

"You okay?"

"No; we're lost."

Hermione sighed at the bluntness of Ino's reply. She looked down for a moment, thinking. She looked back up. "Where do you need to go?"

"The 'hospital wing', whatever the hell that is."

Hermione scowled ever so slightly. She'd be making a detour, now wouldn't she? "Well... come on, then. I'll take you there." Ino sighed in relief.

"Thanks."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Professor, this is not aloud!" Minerva McGonagall protested. Dumbledore silence her with his hand.

"Minerva; the new teacher can arrive a month late for all I care. As long as she arrives, I'm completely fine with it." The Transfiguration teacher turned red in anger slightly when Dumbledore spoke.

"Very well then..."

No; the professor for Transfiguration was not happy about this. The new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was not here. This was not to be allowed! The teachers were told to report a day before the school year started. And, here she was, not here!

Minerva left quickly, her robes fluttering behind her.

This new teacher... Scarlet Sirene. She already hated her.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"What're we supposed to be doing again?"

"You idiot... didn't you listen? Guard the common room entrance."

Uzumaki Naruto glared at his teammate, Uchiha Sasuke, angrily. Wasn't his fault! He was snaking on some awesome sweet paste-stuff that Fred and George had gave him. They said it would block out _everything_, and turns out, the twins had meant it.

"Shut up, Sa-"

"Don't start a fight, you two." Haruno Sakura gave an exasperated sigh and she took a bite out of a chocolate bar Ginny had given her. 'To keep her awake.' Obviously, Ginny didn't know that Sakura was able to stay awake for long periods of time. So... the perfect snack for a woman.

Chocolate.

Naruto slumped, sliding into a chair that had been placed outside for them. He groaned, placing a hand on his stomach. "Sakura-chan, why do you have to eat that in front of us?"

"Because it was given to her to eat here."

"I told you to shut up!" Naruto would've jumped up and attempted to throttle Sasuke, but his stomach hurt to much at the moment to do so. Instead, he slumped some more.

He was asleep before he could even stop himself.

Sasuke muttered some curse towards Naruto, leaning against the wall. Sakura sighed, balling up the wrapper and stuffing it under some random painting. She, of course, ignored the paintings protest.


	8. Wandering Around in Pajamas

**Imma Kiwi Bird:** Here is the newest installment of this story. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the HP or Naruto characters. Kishimoto Misashi and JK Rowling do.

**Key for Text:** "Words." This is in Japanese.

"Words." This is normal speaking.

"_Words._" This is thinking.

* * *

**You and Me and the Devil Makes Three**

**Chapter 7: Wandering Around in Pajamas**

When Harry Potter woke up, his sparkling green eyes still heavy with sleep, he was surprised that noone else was in the dorm. When he say up, widely awake in interest, he heard loud noises coming from the common room.

He slipped out of bed and quickly headed down the stairs, wanting to know what was going on. As soon as he stepped from the last step and into the common room, Ron ran up to him, still in his pajamas; just like Harry.

"No classes, mate!" Ron said, grinning ear to ear. Harry blinked.

"What?"

"No classes because one teacher is late!"

Harry blinked again, before smiling a bit himself. Oh... this was a _dream_. And yet, he wondered what teacher was late.

He looked around, and he noticed that an extremely nervous... Hyuuga Hinata, wasn't it?; trying to console an extremely depressed looking Hermione. No wonder. If classes were starting late, count on her to be the only one who cared. His smile broadened as Ron came over, dragging Neville, who, like them all, was happy and still in his pajamas.

"Harry! We're going to wander around! Coming?" Harry nodded, following the two out of the common room.

Oh... this was something that he never did. Wander Hogwarts with no classes and in his pajamas.

This was something he would never forget.

By the time the three got outside and headed over to Hagrid's hut, they still hadn't noticed that they were being followed.

Which was why it was so awkward when Hagrid answered the door after they knocked.

"Why is the green boy following?"

Harry, Neville, and Ron turned to see Rock Lee standing there, hands on his hips, and looking very proud of himself. The three boys quickly turned back. They knew why Lee had to follow. And Harry wished it could've been someone else.

Anyone but the green spandex-clad boy. Preferably Hyuuga Neji.

Hagrid sighed at having no reply, but he allowed the three students and the ninja into his hut.

Harry was surprised that no strange and exotic animal was somewhere in the hut. Only Fang was there; sleeping on a large blanket near the fire.

Hagrid had them sit down, but Lee refused. Instead, he stood by the door, arms crossed behind his back. Hagrid didn't argue; he allowed the freakish teen to do what he pleased.

Hagrid then offered tea and fudge. Neville accepted the tea, but not the fudge, while Harry and Ron accepted nothing.

They were fully awake, but it seemed like poor Neville wasn't. His round face was pale and his eyes were drooping with sleep.

"'Arry; 'ow've oo been?" Hagrid asked, setting another cup of tea before Neville, who took it graciously.

"Fine, Hagrid." Harry replied, smiling. Hagrid turned to Ron and asked him the same question.

Bad move, oh dear half giant.

Ron's rant about Hermione went on full blast.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Yamanaka Ino was again wandering down the halls, trying to find her way back to the Gryffindor common room.

Chouji was fine. He just needed to rest and get the food to go through the rest of his body. Madam Pomfrey's explanation had been quite more graphic, and so Ino had just told the woman that she would leave and come back later.

So, here she was, lost. Dammit.

"Lost, are we?" Ino whirled around to see some kid dressed in... Slytherin robes. He had bleached blonde hair; lighter than her own, even. And it was slicked back. And his look... he looked as if he thought he was the most important thing in the whole world.

"Yes. Now go." Ino really didn't like him, and she didn't even know who he was. Yet she had learned to trust her instincts when it came to these kind of things.

He sneered at her, his eyes narrowing. "Don't you need help?"

"Not from you."

Ino started walking again, her fists clenching at her sides when she heard a pair of footsteps following her. What was this guy? A goddamn _stalker_? Oh. She would sue. Or she would take matters into her own hands, if that be the case.

"Care to give a woman her privacy?"

"No."

Ino jumped. She hadn't noticed that the Slytherin had been _right _behind her. Maybe in her anger of the stalked-Slytherin, she hadn't noticed.

She whirled around, angered even more at how much he had invaded he personal space. She shoved him away with a quick flick of her wrist. This seemed to anger him as well.

"Don't you know who I am?"

"No. And I don't care."

Ino took silent amusement in the boy's reaction to her simple statement. She turned on her heel and started back on her probably worthless search.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Mr Nara, Mr Hyuuga, I'd appreciate it if you kept a very close eye on Harry until classes start." Dumbledore peered at the two ninja from over his half-moon spectacles, taking in the looks of the two. Shikamaru seemed downright bored, while Neji remained emotionless.

Neji nodded. "Yes, Dumbledore-sama." He said, accidentally and unknowingly reverting back to his native tongue's suffix.

Shikamaru gave a lazy nod, not speaking at all.

Albus glanced out the window, watching as the small forms of Harry, Ron, and Neville came from Hagrid's hut, starting back at the school. Soon, a bouncing dot of green followed them.

"You may go now, children."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Oh the joy of being in a magical school. One where the stairways move, there are trick stairs, secret passage ways, and the paintings are alive.

Hinata and Sakura were now being given a tour of the school by Ginny and Hermione, who Hinata had managed to cheer up somehow. But, when Ginny announced she would give them a tour of the school, Hermione had protested that 'she knew the school more'. And, actually, she probably did. With all her escapades with Ronald and Harry, who would think otherwise?

And yet Hermione had said she needed to get out of her pajamas, but it was one Ginny Weasley who had told her to start living and go out in them for once.

So, there they were, the four girls going through the school in their pajamas.

When they exited the library, which Hermione had insisted on giving the most thorough tour of all in, they came across a flustered looking Ino.

"A-are you alright, I-Ino?" Hinata asked, wringing her hands. She had been extra jumpy ever since a portrait of a drunk man had started to curse violently at her. Of course it would shock her, and cause her to remain shocked for some time.

Ino nodded, yet her face still betrayed the nod. "Yeah... just some damn boy stalked me, is all." Sakura gave a mock understanding nod, before saying she could just join them in the tour.

And the tour continued.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Scarlet Sirene. An ex-auror, and now the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.

Noone seemed to recall her ever even _being_ an auror.

That was what made Arthur Weasley so nervous as he shifted through some Ministry of Magic auror files during his spare time.


	9. Madam Scarlet Sirene

**Imma Kiwi Bird:** Yay. New chapter. This chapter here was done at night, so please don't review telling me it sucks ass, alright? I wasn't exactly sleepy, and I was bored.

SO. This is what I get for watching _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_ at two in the morning.

**_Note:_** This chapter was rushed. Alot. So people wouldn't get angry at me. It was also deleted once and re-put-up.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the HP or Naruto characters. Kishimoto Misashi and JK Rowling do.

**Key for Text:** "Words." This is in Japanese.

"Words." This is normal speaking.

"_Words._" This is thinking.

* * *

**You and Me and the Devil Makes Three**

**Chapter 8: Madam Scarlet Sirene**

It was raining. That night, it was _pouring_ down rain, actually.

The water droplets hit the windows, making a pitter-pattering noise. The air was full of the depressing, sinking feeling that always happened when it was raining. Even the students, awake or asleep, who were snug in their four-posted beds felt slightly wet from the moisture.

Hinata, Kiba, and Shino were guarding the common room. Everyone except for Neji and Shikamaru then patrolled the Hogwarts castle; to make sure nothing happened, and to get themselves more familiar with the school. Neji and Shikamaru, on the other hand, were to stay in Dumbledore's office and wait. According to the old coot, the new DADA teacher _was_ going to be coming; more or less on time. So, they were to stay with the Headmaster all night and wait for her to arrive.

Dumbledore had left the two shinobi when Minerva had come up and stated that a soaking wet professor had arrived. That had been thirty minutes ago, though; and Shikamaru had long ago fell asleep. Neji, though, as not sleepy at all. Even if he was, he would not fall asleep when his employer had told him to stay awake and wait for his return.

That was when the door opened, and Dumbledore strolled in, a woman accompanying him. Shikamaru snapped awake, looking slightly disgruntled from the sudden awakening.

The woman was tall; six feet, give or take. She was wearing long, black robes that seemed to be made of velvet. But, when the light shone on the fabric, it shone blood-red. Her hair was long; Neji could tell. But, the black hair was up in a messy bun.

The woman's eyes were black; pitch black; and they gazed out under blood-red eye shadow. Her lips were not seen; they were covered in lipstick, which was blood-red.

Her ears had dangling earrings on them; shaped like a teardrop at the end of a silver chain. But, they were not blue. Blood-red, of course.

Neji assumed she liked the color 'blood-red'.

The woman was slim and agile; as if she had been trained to do so. And; let me just say that her... assets could rival those Tsunade.

Neji couldn't shake the feeling of foreboding he got when he looked away from her and back at Dumbledore. This woman reminded him of someone, but he didn't remember who. All the Hyuuga knew is that the person she reminded of him was bad; bad to extent of pure _evil_. And dangerous; extremely dangerous.

"Mr Hyuuga, Mr Nara; this is Madam Scarlet Sirene," Dumbledore introduced, motioning to the blood-red obsessed woman with a swish of his arm. He had sat himself down at his desk, and was gazing at the two. Neji stood and bowed, followed closely by Shikamaru.

"Hyuuga Neji."

"Nara Shikamaru."

The woman seemed to look them both over closely, as if taking in any detail. Her black eyes soon flickered to look at one face, then the other. "My, my! Dumbledore, you sure picked some... fair bodyguards for our little Harry." Neji could tell she didn't exactly seem as happy as she looked or sounded; as if she were a master at disguising her emotions. Actually, she seemed disappointed.

Dumbledore nodded, smiling. Well; he seemed to fall for the fake act Neji had been able to see through with the Byakugan. "Yes. I have, haven't I? Well, I supposed our two body guards should get back to guarding. You are dismissed."

With that, Neji and Shikamaru left.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The next morning, when Ron woke Harry up with the sad news that classes would be starting the next day, he quickly got dressed and headed to the Great Hall along with the rest of the Gryffindors. According to Professor McGonagall, Dumbledore had stated that everyone in every house must attend breakfast that morning. So, they went.

No doubt so the headmaster could introduce the new DADA professor.

Harry let his mind wander; who would it be? Some crazy looney like Mad-Eye? Voldemort in disguise? Wait; maybe it would be some genius their age that graduated already, had become an auror, and decided they wanted to teach here, at Hogwarts!

Harry grinned as they entered the Great Hall for breakfast, hoping that his last guess was the right one. It was also when the boy noticed everyone was in their pajamas still, save for the teachers. How typical...

He sat down beside Ron at the end of the table, noting how none of those so called 'ninja' were there, save for Neji, who was standing beside Dumbledore, talking to the headmaster. He was jolted from staring at the two talking; he was trying to read their lips to understand what they were talking about; when he heard a growl from Ron. Looking towards his friend, he noticed that Hermione had joined them.

"Hello, you two. Sleep well?" Hermione asked cheerfully, grabbing a piece of toast. Harry grabbed some bacon, noticing the food was there. He wondered why he seemed so absent minded recently, then he shook his head angrily and started eating the bacon that seemed to be cooked perfectly. Better than what the Dursleys' fed him...

He was too busy eating to understand, but it seemed like Ron had started bickering with Hermione.

Seven slices of bacon and five pieces of toast later, the bickering had stopped, and Harry had decided to stop eating.

The last of the Slytherins snaked their way in, and Dumbledore stood. Harry blinked when Neji disappeared into thin air after simply making some freak sign language with his hands. Dumbledore cleared his throat loud enough for everyone to hear and quiet down to. Everyone immediately did so, and looked at his expectantly.

"Now, as you all know, our Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was late. Well, she has arrived." Then the headmaster said 'she', the whispering immediately began. Harry blinked, glancing at Ron and Hermione. Ronald was just staring up at Dumbledore, a dumbstruck look on his face. Hermione looked proud; her face just showed she wanted to say that women could teach 'boy' classes.

"Madam Sirene, please enter." The doors entered, and a not-so-happy looking woman (who appeared to be infatuated with the color blood-red) was escorted in with Professor Trelawney. Harry pitied her; the Divination teacher had probably harassed her about her demise.

The two women stopped by Dumbledore, Trelawney swaying as she spoke to the headmaster briefly. Dumbledore nodded, saying something to the other woman. The blood-red covered woman turned to them all.

"Hello, Hogwarts students." She spoke, and Harry winced. This woman reminded him of Voldemort somehow. "I am Madam Scarlet Sirene; I was an ex-auror, but I decided teaching at Hogwarts would be much more entertaining. And, I do hope it is." Ron and Harry both lit up; _she_ was an ex-auror?

"Please note that if you treat me with respect, I will treat you with respect." Harry swore he say her eyes flash, and he raised a hand quickly to rub his scar. It didn't hurt, but he thought he had seen something... But, he was mistaken.

"I will enjoy it here; I'm sure..." She quickly apparated to her seat, and Dumbledore announced the meal could begin.


	10. Can’t Find a Book?

**Imma Kiwi Bird:** New chapter, after a very long wait. I have been... almost MURDERED by middle school. Yeah. I've been freaked out _really bad_; some guy is stalking me. And. It's, like... changed my speech pattern alot. He got me saying 'un' when I'm speechless. Itss00perscary. So yeah. xD The update schedule for the fics have been changed as well. Might as well check those.

One:

_You and Me and the Devil Makes Three _and _Faulty Time Turner_ will not be updated separately. The two will both be finished together** and** uploaded together. So, I won't have to keep the fans of individual fanfics waiting. **THIS CHAPTER AND THE NEXT CHAPTER FOR _FTT _DO NOT COUNT.** I want to just get these two out by the end of the month. Simple as that.

Two:

I will be slowly redoing the first five or so chapters of this story. And, when I do one, I'll post a notice at the top of the newer chapter so you can go reread it if you please. I would suggest doing so; the chapters will be much better and richer in quality. Or, something nice like that.

Three:

For those that bother to care (boy, do I feel unloved), I may be bringing _Family of Disasters_ back soon. It will be there for the sheer enjoyment of others. And lastly, it would be something I put up when I have a minor case of writer's block for the other stories. Yeah. I know. Lame excuse. Get off my back.

Now, without further ado, the newest installment.

PS - _Jackass _is, like... one of the funniest shows there is. xD

PPS - The book on pirates and time traveling in this chapter is a reference to my other fairly popular story, _Faulty Time Turner_. x3

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the HP or Naruto characters. Kishimoto Misashi and JK Rowling do.

**Key for Text:** "Words." This is in Japanese.

"Words." This is normal speaking.

"_Words._" This is thinking.

* * *

**You and Me and the Devil Makes Three**

**Chapter 9: Can't Find a Book?**

_Honestly; _Hermione wrote on the paper; rather quickly, as if she were infuriated. _She's like the woman version of Lockheart._ She passed the paper to her left, and Ron looked at it. For a few moments he was silent, staring at the note paper. What to reply...?

Ron: _Are we forgetting that you fell for the old bloke too?_

Pass.

Hermione: _Shut it, Ronald. I mean, all the men are following her around like lost, helpless puppies. Ron, I found someone following her to the showers during lunch; on my way to the library._

Pass.

Ron: _Oh, yeah... wasn't it one of them Slytherins? But, you must admit. She is beautiful. I quote my brothers, alright?_

Pass. Hermione read it, then turned her head sharply to send a nasty glare at Ronald. He shrugged, looking nervous. Hermione growled lowly, crumpled up the parchment, and shoved it into her robes. The perverted, thoughtless, despicable...

Hermione let a sigh pass through her lips. Double Transfiguration with the Ravenclaws as their last subject of the day was very nice, actually. She knew, that from now on, she would look forward to this subject time (on Tuesday. Note taken.).

But, McGonagall was currently lecturing them on what the course expectations were, what they would be doing, and so on. Also, they got at least thirty-minutes worth of information on the OWLs they would all be taking that year. Hermione, of course, was looking forward to the tests; she was sure she would pass in all her subjects. She needed to start making her, Ron, and Harry's study schedules soon...

Snapping back into reality as McGonagall allowed them to leave ten minutes early, Hermione gathered her books together and shoved them into her bag. Pushing from the wooden desk, she picked up her bag and waited for Ron. He was saying something to Harry, yet she didn't bother to listen in. All the girl had to do was glare and ask what or who they were talking about, and BAM: there is it.

As soon as her friends finished their short conversation, the three quickly left the room and headed for the Gryffindor common room. As they headed down the hall, Hermione picked up four pairs of footsteps instead of three. Thinking it was simply Draco Malfoy following them to 'tease' them, she turned around sharply; mouth open to curse him down back to the dungeons. Her mouth instantly shut as she flinched at the sight. Ron and Harry to turned around as well to see what was holding Hermione.

In the middle of the hallway was Rock Lee (in all his spandex glory). Apparently, he was still the one who had to guard Harry.

Hermione turned and started heading towards the common room rather quickly, leaving Ron and Harry behind. "Lee, do ya think Harry could have _some_ time alone?" Ron asked breathlessly, sighing and hanging his head down. Lee grinned, his teeth giving off a blinding light. Hell; Harry had to take off his glasses and rub his eyes before Lee replied.

"No!"

Nothing else to ask, so the two boys heading towards the common room as well. Lee jumped after them, making odd noises as he kicked and punched at the air while following.

"Honestly, Harry. I think he's worse than **_spiders_**."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After Hermione had successfully dragged Ronald and Harry into the Hogwarts library, she instantly went searching for a new book; one she had never read nor heard of. Or, better yet, a new book she had heard of and wanted to read desperately. As she scanned the shelves, a pointed finger going over the bindings of books, Hermione scowled. She, for some reason, could not find a book she hadn't read. Letting out a breath of frustration, she stepped back and folding her arms.

"Shoot," The Gryffindor girl cursed under her breath, huffing as she turned and started stomping back towards the table where Harry and Ronald were reading some books on Quidditch; Lee hovering over Harry eerily. How could he even stand that? Shaking her head, Hermione pulled a chair from the table and plopped down into it. Ron looked at her lazily, before his eyes widened.

"Her-Hermione!"

"What, Ronald?"

"You... _you have no book_!" Hermione sighed at his exaggeration and looked at Harry so she could spark a conversation. Her mouth shut quickly when she noticed he was looking up from his Quidditch book, mouth agape as well.

"Honestly! You two think books are my life!" Her inner self was shouting curses towards her for being stupid; books pretty much were her life. Oh; and studying. Could not forget studying. Ron and Harry seemed to think along the same lines as they stared at her unbelievingly. Hermione scowled and leaned back in her chair, folding her arms.

She mumbled something, and Harry and Ron leant towards her. They hadn't heard.

"What?" The both asked together.

"I said: '**No. New. Books.**'" Hermione repeated, only louder so Ron and Harry could hear. The two nodded, going back to their normal positions in their chairs. Hermione turned her head to look out the window; she was glad they had gotten this table. It was near a very large window that overlooked most of the grounds; Hagrid's hut, the Quidditch field, the Greenhouses, the Forbidden Forest... Hermione let out a small, content sigh. The Hogwarts grounds was so beautiful...

Hermione turned slightly so she could look at Rock Lee through the corner of her eye. The teen was utterly... well, scary. Disturbing, menacing to the eye... However you would like to put it. And yet, Hermione couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Why?

Because _noone _willingly gets into a green spandex body suit.

... Did they?

Hermione shook her head at the thought and stood once more. There just _had_ to be a book in the library she hadn't read. Excusing herself (and being ignored by Ron and Harry), she headed back towards the back wall of the library. She went there... every so often; just because she had finished every book back there in her first year. That section was where she had found the book that mentioned Nicolas Flamel, come to think of it.

So... wouldn't that be the perfect place for a new book to be set upon a shelf, collecting dust, where Hermione Granger would never lay eyes on it? Yes. It would. So, that was why she was heading there.

The moment she turned into the last row to the left, her eyes found the binding of a book she had never read. Lightening up, Hermione reached for the book and pulled it from the shelf.

It was an old, grayish-colored book with black lining. Letting her hand go over the binding and cover, she pushed the dust off so she could read what the book was called.

The binding said: '_Time and the Caribbean_'. Hermione smiled slightly, tilting her head at the strange book title. And yet, it seemed interesting enough. Glancing at the cover, she seen the faded image of what she supposed was a pirate ship with black sails; but the sails were tattered and worn. And yet, an invisible wind blew through them, pushing it along the water that the picture showed. Shrugging at the irrationality of it, Hermione opened the book to the title page.

**Time and the Caribbean**

**By: H.G, H. P., and R. W.**

**Published by the-**

Hermione instantly stopped reading the title page, concentrating on the three authors initials. Unscramble them, and you got:

**By: Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, and Ronald Weasley**

But, of course, that was impossible. She, Harry, and Ron were only in their fifth year. And while they had done many things others hadn't, publishing a book titled '_Time and the Caribbean_' was _not_ one of them. Letting out a small chuckle at the stupid thought that they had actually wrote this book, Hermione passed it off as a coincidence. She quickly pulled out of the row and made a beeline for their librarian, Madam Pince.


End file.
